It occurs more frequently now and it usually brings tears to my eyes. Oh the Lovingkindness of my Lord is something so sweet, so right that I cannot but want to remain in His tender embrace the rest of my days.  I wonder who else can understand.

My tears come as I contemplate all the goodness God has shown me. My tears come again as I contemplate the disregard I demonstrated toward Him for most of my life. Tears mixed with joy and sorrow. And more tears still when such assurance is given to me by the Spririt within me;  I know God and He knows me! Such realizations are hardly more than I can fathom at times.

Ah ha!  There was someone who understood… I’ve been reading John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress lately. The main character, Christian, had lost his Sealed Roll (The Assurance of his Life), and upon finding it again…

“Therefore he laid it up in his bosom, gave thanks to God for directing his eye to the place where it lay, and with Joy and Tears betook himself again to his Journey.”

Why the Joy and Tears? Because of the lovingkindness of God. I know now that God has always longed to be found by me… to be intimate with me. But I was not yet hungry and thirsty enough.

Now, I am aware of His kindness to me through everyday circumstance and through my memory of times past… The Joy comes when one knows they are right with God. And the Tears come when times of rejecting Him are recalled… during all that time God was longing to be found by me.

1st John 3:1a
Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!

A wretched sinner was I
To now be saved, I cry
The Care of God I see
Brings Tears of Joy to me

Endless thanks to God!